MY QUEST OF LIFE

a little update

2006-10-26T22:57:00.002+10:00

back to blogging again!~
u guys must be wondering where am i eh? i am still alive a healthy in melbourne.
i am now working part time and studying. studies are not too bad.. passed all the subjects.. quite happy altho i am still not satisfied with my results. but its all cool.
about working? its always been good. i had been promoted to be a supervisor (just part-time). work treat me not bad. working is always so good. i am glad i am working coz:
theres basicly a few reasons for that:
1> had more friends and they are really lovely bunch of people
2> earn my own money and feeling great about it is so good.
3> fill up my spare time rather had my time working then doing nothing.
besides all these news.. nothing much basicly, oh 1 thing i had been doing and love doing it is
going to the gym. its so fun, especially going to body attack and body jam.
both cardio exercise are great and they do help me to loose quite a large amount of weight.
i always felt great and happy after gym.. prolly because of the chemical produced in me?
like today had an hour of cardio and if u push urself to the limit its really good.
no pain no gain its the phase. if you wan to gain somthing theres sure a little pain that you need to sacrifice.
today, i;ve learn something from the master!!~
master g had adviced me in some of my relationship/ love life.
yes my love life hasnt been so great or never been that great. who to blame?
not me, not you and definately not anyone. i would think my lack of experience and desperation in a relationship brings this horror!!~
when you get to a point that no 1 wans u, u felt deperate and you just grab what eva u can find. this is what i do all the time but its the wrong way and 1 only way that i shouldnt be doing. guru advices me that i must be strong and make sure not to give / show everything to the person at once or at the 1st meeting. but put myself together and be strong. no intimacy no kissing and no touching!!!~ (hmmm... this is bad :P)
some people told me, i am some1 that love to be in love. i am a guy with my own fantasy and with an unrealistic thinking. well, what can i say? i love fantasies.. i love sweet stuff..
maybe love is not meant for me. i find it hard to find some1 i really like at times / most of the times. gosh now i am going dramatic. :( sob. anyway.. less typing. trying to get focus on my work. ciao.

a little update

2006-10-26T22:57:00.001+10:00

2006-10-26T22:57:00.000+10:00

back to basics

2006-10-25T01:21:00.000+10:00

bla bla bla. i'll cut the crap. i am continue'ng blogging.
*more to come!~

=D

2006-08-18T01:22:00.000+10:00

oh gosh!~ i am becoming the MOST boring person in the world!!~~
i need to get alive..
i am getting bored of online games..
at 1st i was really addicted to GW. but now.. oh pleaseee.. i am so lazy to play..
it goes to o2jam , gunbound, RO and Maple story
still go in play once awhile but not addicted anymore..
ahh!~~ what can i do with my life to make it the fullest eh? hmmm

worries, worries and worries !~

2006-08-18T00:56:00.000+10:00

hehehe..i am back on blooging again.. hahaa
i keep on disapear and pop back in when i wanna blog..
well, as i said before i am not a big fan of blogging but i kinda like to blog from time to time.
as the past few weeks, my life wasnt that good. went nuts and mentally disturb. coz of my exams..
really really wanted to pass the exams with good grades but in the other hand wasnt really that keen on continue'ng the course anymore. truthfully saying, i am over IT!!~ lolz.. but i really studied my best for that exams.. so hopefully i pass them.. hmm.. 2 more exams coming on the 1st and 6th of Sept.. hope everything goes fine.. :D after that.. i am gonna be free... free as a bird..
only have to go thursday and friday classes.. how sweet is it!~
actually not that happy.. coz.. it doesnt seems right to me.. i feel its wierd not going to classes..
so fucked up.. haihz.. now i start to like going classes.. weird eh? hmm
anyway..i've been up worrying about few casses i am facing..
what is that you may ask? hmm.. basicly its about my course and my attendance..
as i mention before i had this attendance problem i face early july right.. coz my attandance were quite poor. well, its sorted out already.. but i am still scared... and quite worried..
i went for lunch with my lawyer friend , robert.. we were chatting and we were talking about my course n etc.. he told me if dimia knows my bad attendence.. i am hardly to be granted a new student visa. omg.. i am so worried.. now dimia hasnt know anything yet.. but i am afraid that rmit international will tell dimia. oh gosh.. this is real bad. i am having mix feeling about this. altho its settle.. but u never know whats gonna happen. i really dun wanna go back malaysia.. i love melbourne.. I LOVE MELBOURNE!!!!~~
i really hope everything goes well for me!!!~ i had choose to do optometry degree and culinary course.. i am gonna start culinary course on october 2006 and optom degree maybe few years later.. but i had to ask melb uni how can i enter... hmm.. see what happens.. all in the matter of time.. you should be shock what the sudden of those course? well, culinary is just to get enough points for my PR.. then.. optom is far more cheaper than pilotting course.. so yeah.. :D
since i have a fair amout of intrest in optom . anyway.. time for bedd..

d-e-p-r-e-s-s

2006-08-02T02:17:00.000+10:00

I AM DEPRESS!!~~ NOT HAPPY WITH WHAT I AM DOING!!!~~
DEPRESSS!!!!!~~ ARGG.....

daily rumbles!~

2006-07-27T11:35:00.000+10:00

uh uh!!~~~
i am not feeling well today.. i had to go to the toilet like 5 times this morning
its still rumbling like mad!!~
missed the class coz i was late for uni about 30 mins... then keep on going to toilet in the uni. when i finish with it it was 10.30 a.m left 30 mins uni so i rather come back.
ahh.. today not so sunny like yesterday. as i was telling my housemate eugene, sunny day makes me happy.. why? coz when ur under the sun, you body produced 1 chemical that which will make you happy. i guess for those ppl who study chem will know... :P
anyway, i just love sunny days.. ooo ooo...
err.. my water bill is here. its 97 bucks... ahh.. how expensive ooo... last time was 61 only..
well reason behind it was eugene;s friends were here staying for a month or so. lucky it didnt went up to 100++. now i am more afraid on the electricity bills. we keep on using the clothes dryer like no 1 cares... ahhh!!~ i guess its gonna be pretty expensive on the electricity...
i am a poor student.. i have no money to pay for such high electricity.. my electricty last year was an evrage of 200++ for 3 months n 4 ppl sharing.. now its like 300 per 3 months 2 ppl sharing.. the gass is 100 for last year and we dont use gass in this house.. i am using up alot of money the bills. haihz.. sob sob.. i am so broke liao ooo...
ahh.. mummy comming on this saturday morning.. good ler.. when she come.. i will be alittle bettter.. at least she can comfort me.. i am having so muuch of depression i think i might have depression disease... uh uh!!~~
maybe i am crazy? i guess i am catogarize more into a person that is so crazy.... mwakakaka
yeah.. mummy here.. i am gonna be happy.. exams in 1 3/4 times .. STRESS!!~
hopefully i can finish all the study by that time.. so freaking scary ooo...
i am afraid i fail but see how it goes la...
ahh.. i need ppl to go out today.. at least go have coffee for awhile.. i dun wanna stay at home.. sob sob..
where is ser yooong when i need him... pift..
and where is all my friend? dead ar.. ish ish...
anyway.. i will stop babbling about nonsense now..
mwah n hugs

Rain - hottie

2006-07-25T12:58:00.000+10:00

hmm.. i should be studying at the hour of time.
EXAMS is freaking 2 weeks away... ahhh stress stress.. but what to do,
i am slacking so much.. kekek
anyway, had you guys heard about Bi Rain a Korean singer.
wohaaaa.. he is like super hottie. most popular male singer in korea now.
ahh, his 6 pack makes me drool coz i wanna have that type of body.
working hard to get it.. kekeke

anyway, heres the MV on fan made DA DA DA- Rain

and there is another 1 with christina aguilera and rain in the pepsi ad!~
phew they look hot...

I LIKE IT!~

2006-07-23T23:07:00.000+10:00

love at first sight and the first crush feelings are always
painful, miserable and feels like you;ve been stab several times on year heart.
geez its not a very pleasant feeling trust me. i guess you and me had been thru this feelings
before. its so hard when you like this person and you dont know IT like u back or not. craving to see it and wishing and hoping to be with it. dreaming of the future together but when it comes to reality, all its just so clear it cant happen. that why is so depressing.
i like this person and was really hopping IT would be my partner in future or IT will like me back instead.
but its all in my fraction of imagination. what can i do? altho i really really like IT but nothing i can do. all i can do is drool on IT pic that is on my mobile phone. place it in my heart and burried it so it will stay that way. i am not a selfish person. i dont have to have the person to be happy. i think when i know that IT is happy i think i will. altho its not 100% but i will try to be happy for IT. you know BITTERSWEET feeling!!~
thats the best way.
I LIKE IT SO MUCH!!~~ I CAN DO ANYTHING FOR IT.

IT, i know u may not this i am ur partner material, i will treat u the same way i treat u last time.
i like u so much i dont want to hate you and i make sure i will look better in years time. let time decide everything....

mwah

to my realization IT is a SORE LOOSER!!~

La La Mood today!~

2006-07-21T22:04:00.000+10:00

ahh...today was lovely....
i;ve chatted with markus late nite.. and i really got what he is trying to tell me
i am crystal clear now altho a little sad but i'll be fine..
was a bit moody this morning but it gets better when i went out in the city and walk around
really helps alot..
hmm.. i went out with huey shin today.. just sat at the starbucks chitchatting..
and i went to the LV shop in colling street to look at LV with shin.. and we promise to work hard earn heaps and go big big shopping on boxing day!~
so cool right? happy..
i just love her!~~ anyway.. shes from penang.. so u can imagine.. kekkeekek
erm.... yeah..i think i treat her like very good friend....
she understand me alot like beckie..
yep~~time to study since i;ve regain my positiveness and my mood..
my mum is not pressuring me and i am not pressuring myself to get HD so.. i guess i wont be that stress anymore!~
okie dokies... blog more if i have the time!~

Learned something new ....

2006-07-20T15:38:00.000+10:00

you'll always heard of a phrase : you always learn new things everyday
yep thats very true!!~
i've learn 1 yesterday...
jeans are not to wash frequenly. a g-star staff told me that jeans only can be wash once every 2 months. why? its to make sure the jeans doesnt ware off and make sure it still fits ur hips, waist and length. oh gosh.. i;ve been washing my jeans every week after i wear them.. no wonder its totaly out of shape.. doik!~
and if it stinks put it in a plastic bag and placed it in the freezer for a night and the next morning..
walla.. it doesnt smell.

anyway, jason is on the way back to singapore now. called him just now to wish him safe journey!~
we will keep in touch...thru msn ^^

okie doks.. enough blogging..!!~~~
love you guys!!` bye

which to choose?

2006-07-20T10:56:00.000+10:00

ahh!!~ now come to think about it.
i was really intrested in asian when i am back in penang
when i came over melbourne i was intrested in caucasian instead...
but now.. i find asians are really attractive!!!~~
omg.. i am so confuse!!~~
i still have feelings on caucasian.. but i am more towards asian!~~~
fuck!!!!!!~~~~~~~~

P-m-S

2006-07-20T10:26:00.000+10:00

Morning people!!~~
ahhh... just came home....
ahh!!~~ jason is going back home to Sg today...
i am sure i am gonna miss miss him so much..
this is so not fun!!` i am a bit lost. prolly there is several factors.
but basicly its about him going back and i only can see him MAYBE on November.
sob sob. well lucky i can chat with him online....
tat is a good thing i guess...
the other thing that is bothering me is my persistant in doing things..
i feel i am a slacker!!!~~ i know i need to be really down to it.. and stick to my routine..
i hate myself for being a slacker!!~~ and MR procastinator!~
like i am comparing me with my friends like Jason, Beckie and rest of my friends..
i know some people are a procastinator but they are not a slacker. they are really persistant in doing their things. like.. there is a lot of things i need to be persistant on such as going to gym..
i get envy, jeleous when i see some 1 being so fit and well built!!~ but i am not doing my best to get the best results. this really frustrates me and make me depress so much. and there is some other stuff that i am slacking but i wont go my deep into it. a little personal...
i really wanna look good and as in feel good and able to wear kewl nice clothing. its just so hard for me to get really decend jeans n clothes...
i've told myself that i am gonna change my wardrope and my attitude but its not really working.. i HATE myself!!~ i would think this is from a pre-mature syndrome (PMS).. ahhhhh
any 1 can lecture me? i really need some lecture and some advice from any1...
really really much appreciated!!!!~~

message from heaven!~

2006-07-19T16:49:00.000+10:00

payday today. went out for lunch with eugene my houseymate. went to kings cafe as usual. my fav place to go. hehee
then i met this guy from singapore, his here today and going back to sing tomorrow. he's name is Jason and working as tourist officer. not into his partical.. but you'll gonna ask how did i know him right? hmm... thru chat rooms.. well he msged and asked me that i wanna go out lunch with him.... obviously i say yes coz ....... anyway, i met him for lunch after i went my lunch with eugene. just sat there at yoyogi and had coke. was a little bit shy but it all went well. i admire so much coz, i wish i was in his shoes. 1st thing, he earns alot money. sure you guys know tourist officer earn alot... its likee i really wanna have financial secure as in earning my own money and doing my things and can fully support myself financially. i know its hard but this is really what i wan it to be in my future. anyway, we went shopping. he went to get adidas jacket and a g-star jeans. they were on sales. in other hand, i did get soemthing for myself 2. i got myself an armani exchange cap and 2 blocks of choclate from haighs. ummm.. the choc taste so rich and bitter has like 70% of coco in it. yummmm!!~
yeah after shopping, we went to his hotel. we chatted for awhile. and during that time. my brain keeps on processing this data asking me to really work hard and to be really successful. i wannna be a useful person. a person that able to support myself and my mum. my future is not set yet. i dont know what is gonna be but i really really wan to have a better future. is this meeting like a msg from god? telling me to work my bud to succeed in my life? oh gosh its so hard.
i feel so enviious seeing him having alot of stuff but i wanna be like him. having people say. its better to have happiness than having all to world or money to you. very true in that but it u dont have any money, will you be happy? if your sick u dont have money you wont be happy coz you cant cure you disease or sickness. so the terms of that is wrong. i am a person that take and see money is a most important part of my life. i dont care if i am single and not having a partner in my future life having seeing myself without money is a NO NO!~~
am i a hypocrite? no i am not. there is millions of people out there working their bud to ensure they will be rich next time. yes i goes to me coz after meeting jason. i am really motivated to work hard, study hard and get my degree (not in mechanical engineering) hopefully its optometry or pilot. we have to see the future i guess.

Trouble....

2006-07-19T16:38:00.000+10:00

there there!!!~` its me again.
the old leslie that has stop blogging for ages. hahaha
for the past few weeks there has been alot of things happened to me..
words cant even explain.
i was in trouble for skipping class. it happen becoz i really lost intrest in studying mechanical engineering.. the thing is, i dont like studying those stuff anymore. why even i choose this course in the first place? well, basicly influence from friends... or should i say family n friends. people out there say, engineering is good but when you come to your sense and really putting effort in studying it. its really really hard but i dont think they earn that much unless your in high position. i am really dissapointed in myself for not being intrested in this course and taking this course at the first place. i was really really into it at year1 but intrest just fade when it comes to year2. theres a big difference u can see. like during classes, class mates talk about cars, engines, cylinders in the car and me? have no idea at all. it is stated clearly i have no intrest in this particular course. nothing i can do much now but to continue and defer from it end of the year. anyway, i amm getting the cert for adv. dip for mechanical engineering. back to the story i got in trouble for skipping class. well, its all sorted out now coz my results were quite good so they were saying its okie and all i have to do is to attend classes every now n then. you know when you lost intrest you become so so lazy to attend classes. its just i hate those classes i cant wait till it all ends and i really really doesnt wanna go on anymore. basicly,i had been studying 5 years in the same subject.. PHYSICS PHYSICS N PHYSICS. it gets boring after awhile!~ u know what i mean. ahh!!!~~~ this is horrible feeling.....

no good!~

2006-06-21T21:55:00.000+10:00

ahh.. noo good..
having know i MIGHT have sleep apnea and getting the beconase allergy spray
i am now sleeping lesser than before.
like last 2 days, i had noticed myself not fully sleeping..
i am half awake!~~
argg... it makes me so tired in the morning..
HELP!!!~~~ i wanna go back in Jan to undergo sleep lab test...
wanna have all these prevention and wanna make sure.. i have good nite rest
sobb.. i wanna sleep so badly!!~

sleep apnea / nose allergy

2006-06-20T00:49:00.000+10:00

went to see doctor today. reason? my baby said i had a sleep apnea.
what is sleep apnea u ask?
Sleep apnea can be a serious sleep disorder. People who have sleep apnea stop breathing for 10 to 30 seconds at a time while they are sleeping. These short stops in breathing can happen up to 400 times every night. If you have sleep apnea, the periods of not breathing may make you wake up from deep sleep. If you are waking up all night long, you aren't getting enough rest from your sleep.

There are two kinds of sleep apnea: obstructive apnea and central apnea. Obstructive sleep apnea is the most common type. Nine out of 10 people with sleep apnea have this type of apnea. If you have obstructive apnea, something is blocking the passage or windpipe (called the trachea) that brings air into your body. When you try to breathe, you can't get enough air because of the blockage. Your windpipe might be blocked by your tongue, tonsils or uvula (the little piece of flesh that hangs down in the back of your throat). It might also be blocked by a large amount of fatty tissue in the throat or even by relaxed throat muscles.

Central sleep apnea is rare. This type of sleep apnea is related to the function of the central nervous system. If you have this type of apnea, the muscles you use to breathe don't get the "go-ahead" signal from your brain. Either the brain doesn't send the signal, or the signal gets interrupted.
[this text is eddited from familydoctor.org]

anyway, a little info of what is sleep apnea, but doctor said, i am not obease so its hard for me to get sleep apnea. what he asked me to do is get beconase a nose allerg sprayy for my nose coz he ssaid it might be nose allergy. so there you go. nose allergy. see what happens in a month time..

Moved on to the next level !~

2006-06-20T00:32:00.000+10:00

getting on with my live, i had moved on with my working life. working hard as a pig and earning so little is definately not a great place to work at. having to say that, i wish you guys will know how i feel. maybe you guys out there felt the same thing or had the same experience with me. now everything is going great as i moved to crown food court and work as sales assistant aka sandwich hand. lovely izznt it!~ basicly working there is tiring, but the joy of friends u made there and the non pressureness is so good. when you did something wrong, the big boss will ask the superviser to talk to u, help you. try to help you out. that is what i can tolerate. so that is good. not like the old work place, the boss pick up everysingle little mistakes u made and make it a big deal. that is NO NO. i was really enjoying working there, but it can change. seriously, i dont want any changes. anyway, there is so many peopple i work with, they are all the same age as me which is good. some friends i can relate too. i would think i must be really really talkative, coz i tend to seclude myself in my own little world. i know this has to change but yet, i am trying my best to do it.
enough of work, talk about my diet. muscular body. every 1 craves for having a slimline, muscular well toned body. thats doesnt exclude me. having a friend that told me how to control my weight and how to have a good diet really really makes me wanna loose more weight. weight loosing is the hardest thing to do, same as weight gaining. you get lots of emotional sickness and mood swings. it happens to me all the time, i get all those symptomes and i really hate it coz it makes me feel depress. but people say, no pain no gain. one of rules i need to know is, fullfilling the targert is get the pain, feel the pain. you feel it you gain it. therefore, as i was saying, my friend recomanded a few ways on my diet program and that is good. i am trying out his diet program n see what happens. it work on him and i hope it work on me. what he told me, leslie be self conscious and be more aware of what am i eating. i will remember that. thank you so much
hope there is more of me coming!~ and i hope to show more my sexy toned body to you guys soon.. mwakakkaak. lolz

curiosity strikes!~

2006-06-19T23:59:00.000+10:00

yes, here i am as always. wondering the lonely nite in my room. looking at the lights out there, brightly shinning in my room. curiousity usually kills the cat, and its true. it hit on me.
knowing this gurl for only 3 days from a friend is kewl. i would say is extraodinary.
she was really sweet and nice. but when you know a ggurl for 3 days, you dont really know who she is, who the real person she was. is he showing her true color or is it just a person behind a mask?
the time we spent were wonderful and even a memorialble 1. going to clubbing and seeing her at night in my own bed. strolling along at night from collingwood to city in the wee hours. going out dinner together.hugging each other was real a turn on. the thing is, i dont fully know her. is that just a lust or love?
as i said before, curiosity kills the cat, as i;ve found out, she flirts alot and she knows alot of melbourne guys. not to say that i am banning her to chat with all those guys, but the insecurity hits me. it really hit me when my friend n, told me he himself know her and a few friends knew her too. my first reaction was a totaly blackout, speechless and shocked to the point i felt sorry for myself. sitting down now taking a moment with myself. clearing my thoughts, helps but i guess its still left a deep wound of thurstworth a gurl can do. it came to me like i was being a fool and being played a that person. i am not a toy nor a product to be used then you chucked me into the dustbin if your done with it. i am validation from you that. what i wan its from you. nothing is much better a real and honest validation from you!!~ i just need to know, that am i a treasure or just a junk to you. just 1 word, everything will be solve. as i tell my friend, everything happens for a reason. if i fall down walking the path i wanna walk. i will stand up n walk again. if i cant walk the path no more, i will then disappear and no longer will be walking on that journey of mine. having to say this things is such emotional attack, but writting down here is definately a big relief and i am gratefull i made this far of my life. never or less, i still have regrets but i hope times changes everything, helping me be stronger and get control of everything. saying this wake me up from a dream that i cant get out from. back to reality where everything is clear!~.

all about women MV

2006-06-16T15:42:00.000+10:00

thanks to

MetalAZNWarrior you know can download All about Women songs from his website

if you wan MV of the album:

All about women / Lady in Red

2006-06-16T15:15:00.000+10:00

from the left: Vivien Yeo, Kary, Stephy, Charmiane Sheh, Miriam Yeung, Bernice Liu, Myolie Wu, Linda Chung, Sharon Chan

this album entitile " All about women" a new version of "All about Men". this is all about how woman should stand for themself, being strong and etc.
i bought the album from a chinese shop in rusell street coz it has myolie wu(my darling) and bernice liu in it. it just came to me.. wow they can sing. so i just grab that cd n i bought it..
to my suprize they are really good, altho some of the gurls barely sings or i should say newbie.
i had been repeating their songs for almost 4 days now and i cant get bored of it. there is critics and good commens that i read. its all good but a great applous for them for doing so well. cant compare much with the album "All about Men" coz i havent heard of it before. anyway, the songs in there is really nice.
i'll just give some oppinion of the singers

Vivien : i didnt watch her show before but saw her in miss chinese international representing malaysia. didnt know she can sing tho and some said she cant sing. but i think she did a job well done. her song is better than Ron Ng - dont blame her, coz when i comepare both songs amazingly vivien did much much better than Ron.

Karry & Stephy : i always like cookies. they did a great job. nothing more can be said.

Charmaine Sheh : i just love her. critics ssay her voice arent tat strong for that song and i do agree with that.but she did a wonderfull job. mwaks mwaks.

Miriam Yeung : everyone know shes a great singer. songs that come out from her is spendid. i have nothing better to day coz she did a bloody hell good job.

Bernice Liu : she had 2 songs in this album. i particularly like the song called :into the thin air: really love how she sings. deep n sexy voice. amazingly she can sing!!!~ go bernice.

Myolie Wu : oh my baby... lolz.. i just love her as much as i love every singer. saw her sing live and in her MV. really like her voice and she had improved alot in her singing. and i particularly like her song. nice. she look sexy in the MV 2..

Linda Chung & Sharon Chan : both done a very good job. very catchy songs. ^^

*note: this is just my own oppinion!~*
go buy the cd!~ or download it!!~ they rocks

SALES!!~

2006-06-07T15:59:00.000+10:00

weee!!!!! weee!!!~~ ah.. finally stress relieved.
wanna know why? coz i had been to retail theraphy..
mwakakakak
MYERS is having a super super biggie sales in melbourne
winter sales.. oh gosh.. i had bought so many jeckets..
awww.. so kewl.. had spent almost 300 bucks.. geez..
you will say ah.. crazy boy.. but its worth it. u dont get sales in melbourne
all the time. hahaha
anyway.. i am too happy to say... :D

ENVY takes place in me tonight !!~

2006-06-03T01:56:00.000+10:00

i am in a ENVY mood today. Envious. VERY VERY ENVIOUS.
1. envy at my housemate.
hmmm... i was been told he was having a date with a gurlfriend of his last 3 days ago, and from my instinct.. it was correct it wasnt a gurl. hahaha it was my god bro phil. he lied = hiding something.. kekekeke. anyway, engene seems overly excited today and extreamly happy. i would think because the date. no much futher bitching about ppl, the reason i was saying i was envy about him is because i know phil.... and why phil ask him out instead of him. *ponders on situation* i guess phil doesnt even wanna see me.. or talk to me.. sob sob. i am envy of you!!!~~
my night out for dinner wasnt good tho, its would be the most boring night out. you could imaging having a boring friend with u for dinner.. ahh!!~~ just frustrates me and bored the hell out of me.
so i am not quite happy about that.

2. envy at Mark
mark so called my internet buddy and meet in peel once friend said hie and told me he had a great news to tell me. "i was hired at crown as game dealer". i was shocked, suprized and happy for him. at instant i asked him, how much is that pay. he said 17.80 per hour. OMG. its freaking double my pay. so i told him how lucky is him having 17.80 per hour pay. as you all know, i had been bitching and complaining about my job over the past few months about the pay. with the pay that low, i cant even survive in the city so big like melbourne. i just hope crown or maccas will hire me , man. its really mentally disturbing to be thinking and hoping for ppl to hire you. it really makes me depress. ahh.. i dont really need that... anyway.. all i can say, i am ENVY at you'll freaking LUCKY B@STARD!!!~
i wish my luck are like you'll. so lucky.

*may god bless me and hopefully everything comes out fine*
i wouldnt wanna ask more than that.
god bless!!!~~

*yawn* sleepy.. blog soon!!!~

The Young Divas

2006-05-29T22:22:00.000+10:00

(Pauline, Rickly-lee, Emily,Kate)

oh yeah, for you guys that dont know. aussie came out with a group of 4 gurls from australian idol season 1-3. the group is called THE YOUNG DIVAS. the group consist of Kate (winner season 3), Emily (runner-up season 3), pauline (season 1) and ricky-lee (season 2). i love all of those gurls and i love the song the came out. they resang the song from Donna Summer called THIS TIME I KNOW ITS FOR REAL. must listen!!!~~ great song.
LOVE THEM!!!` MWAH MWAH MWAH!!!~~

undecided goals? or is it decided?

2006-05-29T22:02:00.000+10:00

ah.. intresting day today. well i assume its also tiring and sleepy day. as i didnt had enough of sleep last night due to watching the advanture of priscilla the queen of the desert and some other tv series that is on channel 7. woke up at 7.30 coz i had to get prepared and end up going uni at 9.00 and was 15 mins late. ah well, it happens. not a big deal. when i was in uni, just various of sugguestion just pop into my mind. it was intresting and i actually tought of studying BOptom. i was really intrested in the few minutes there and to the extend, during the break i cant wait any longer i went home and search for uni that provides BOptom courses. what you know, only melbourne uni. their requirements are high and i cant simply go in coz basicly it need 5 years full time studies.. and 2nd it needs me to get a credit in chem, bio, n physics. i had no prob in physics, but i didnt do any chem or bio in foundation. thats why i think its hard for me to get it. this is horrible man. so thinking about it, i stick back to my piloting course. i had this intrests, i would think its a influence from benjamin my mate and myself. as i had work in optical shop before i came over to melb, so its really intresting tho. i learned alot from the optom and optician aka manager from that shop. thats what makes me felt suddenly so intrested. but no doubt i still love to become a pilot. therefore, i went searching for uni that provides pilot degree and yes i found it.. there is swinbirn and rmit. but unfortunately swinburn doesnt provide part time courses where else rmit does like.. 5 year part time studies and its great coz i wanna work my arse off 1st and study part time. i dont know about the price but i heard rmit is more MORE... expensive then swinburn. i guess rmit it is, just stick back to rmit. lolz
oh yeah, did i tell my my plan to get my PR. since my step bro doesnt wanna sponsor me to get my PR in melb. i had no choice to actually enroll in cookery or passiterie classes. it can help me get 75 points. well a year n half to spend to get my PR is definately worth it. all for the PR tho. i actually love melb so much that i dont wanna go back to malaysia. i know i had friends back in malaysia but melbourne offer so much that malaysia doesnt and most of my friend in malaysia dont even remember me. lolz.. funny is it.
ahh.. enough of talking. i need to start studying for my tesst on thurday. haahaha. its statistic test. sweet. hahaha
ciaoz

1.44 a.m. and i am still awake!!

2006-05-28T01:45:00.000+10:00

I am so sorry for month i didnt update my blog. its had just been really buzy time for me.
well, i will start off saying i am working and i had exams to study for. so i am really really buzy, but i am consider quite free at the moment as my exams are over. sitting here 1.44 a.m cant even sleep. dont even know why. thinking of those memories i had with johnny last night. it was really really fun. i went out the peel dancebar with him, we are so wild n crazy out there dancing our butt off. i also overnighted there and we chatted till quite late in the morning about 5.00 a.m. so kewl. i just love it having slumber party and chatting with friends. its totally me. being at his place makes me feel what i need to acheive and what i wanna do. in other hand it make me so envious. i should say really envious. i know i cant compare to an individual but seriously i cant do it. i just had to compare. why envious you would ask? its because, his living standard and his room. i wouldnt say he is living in a big apartment or luxurious place. he rented a room and i just like his room so so much. when i 1st steped into his room, his room is filled with the embi pure tea smell. its like wow.. relaxing and so soothing smell. and his room is big and spacious. enough to put everything and anything. where else my room is kinda small, cant really put anything. i know i might not have anything at the moment, but i will probably earn the money by working and but it sooner or later. i just wanna have my own thing. i want my room to smells good and in fact look good. nothing is better than having a decent and comfortable room. its jus pleasure i would say. wouldnt u agree with me?
johnny and i was talking about me finding a replacement job for the job i am working now. and its true, i am waiting for responds from maccas. it may sound crazy to be working in maccas. you would think its the last place you wanna work but when you talk about money, maccas actually pay you more than other places would. like at my age, maccas would pay me around 14-16 per hour excluding tax, but the current place i am working they only pay 9 per hour. people been telling me 9 bucks its really good pay, but i work for the money and also experiences. but i would say its mostly for the money. i need the money to buy stuff, to improve my life in ozzie. and its not i dont have enough to spend but its to have more and start making changes. for the past 2 years, i didnt work to earn extra money. but now when i think about it, i wanna work extra to at least get some extras to even change my waredrope and at least i can dine out more often or maybe at least i can go clubbing more often than usuall. its not really happening now tho but i know it will sooner or later.
talk about mood swings, i often have mood swings this year. as in like when i am studying or working, my mood changes so fast, i dont even know it myself. its probably cause by my hectic life style. i am eating multi vit and destress formula pill help me get energize and active during the day and also night and make sure i am not stress. i even got myself some caffine tablets to eat when i am really tired. caffine tablets works fine, it really makes your brain works. hahaha. like tonight, i am so emotional and i feel like i am even worst than gurls. fuck, i am a man !!!~
man doesnt go all emotional, geez. like i have so many things going on in my life and thinking about it makes me really emotional and makes my heart sore so badly. even when i am sitting down alone, my tears just flow down to my chin automaticly.
u know what, maybe my hectic and emotional life style, it actually makes me lost a few kgies, so bloody happy. my weight its going up n down for past few month. really makes me frustrated.
i know i had gone all lazy going to gym. ah... when you work and you study, you dont even feel like going gym. and thinking of doing weight. i am really afraid. i am afraaid of pain, and i wan effective equipment to make sure my muscles are develope correctly. i dont even know which machines to use. i only do body jam and i know its not enough and its definately not enough, but i really really dont know what can i do? i really need some 1 to show me what is good. which helps me the most. i really really mind how i look and mind how people look at me. thats why i wanna change.i know i had been repeating saying i wanna change and i definately wanna do it. its just i need some 1 to show me how to do it. so any 1 wanna help me with the gym please do so. hahaha!!!~~
lolz, while listening to a song called " i'm so horny", i've receive like so many msged from my mates saying me so horny n etc etc. i was like.. err dude, its a song. they dont even know that song. eh, guys its really nice song. i might go to johnny;s place and transfer some songs from his lappy to my external h/d. hehehe. i better go sleep now. will promise to update as much as possible.

A step closser ...

2006-04-20T21:18:00.000+10:00

Yay, yesterday was my last day of my Easter holidays. How cool is it. But there is 1 thing is NOT cool. The freaking Grace (wife of the boss) from Cultured Salad, keep on calling me to go to work which I stated that I am NOT AVAILABLE on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. She bloody call me at 8.00 a.m. and asked me to go to work at 1.00 p.m. I was like WTH your calling me so early.
*phone rang*
Leslie : Hello?
Grace : Hello, this is Grace here. Can you come for work today from 1.00 – 3.00?
Leslie : Sorry, I can’t. I got a lot of study to do.
Grace : Leslie, you study so hard and you should rest some time and why not come over
help out meanwhile you can also rest….
Leslie : (OMG, is she crazy?) Very sorry, can I call you back later?
Grace : Are you sleeping? Okie , call me back later.
Well, I did not call her back. But I smsed her back around 11.00 p.m. Grace, don’t freaking call me anymore. Geez and you know what. She keeps on calling me every single day. I am like OMFG. I won’t pick that bloody phone up and enough of the work thingy. It’s getting up my NERF…

Yeah, I went out with Eugene, my housemate to CHOM CHOM Singapore Restaurant, apparently Eugene said it’s not nice. Well, it’s actually very delicious. Yumm!~ I love that place. Heheheee. Before I went out dinner, I did study for a couple of hours. See how good I am. (Angel) After dinner, Eugene and I went straight home and I went out with Nathan. So, kewl. He came down from Essendon and fetches me up in the city, and we went to Lygon to have my cappuccino and his skinny latte. We clicked so fast, we started blabbering all non sense and cool fact. It was really extreme and magnificent night out. Then after chatting about all the airline jobs that makes me become more INSPIRED, he actually decides to take me to airport to have a look at the plane. How the land and take off. It was really superb experience. I am so amazed by everything. We are like.. two crazy guys that is crazy about PLANES. Yayness to us. Then after spending 1-2 hours watching the plane, I wanted to pee so badly and there are a few people there and I can’t bloody pee in the bushes. Then he drove me down to some road that is really isolated and I pee. When I am about too pee or should I say half way peeing, a car turn into that road. I was like “LESLIE, STOP BLOODY PEEING” and I quickly ran into Nathan’s car and hide. He was like “HAHAHAHAHAHAHA”. *spank* *spank*. After the car left, I went to continue my pee. OMG. That is really weird.
Then, we were both tired and he sends me home. On the way home, we were like singing and chatting. FUN FUN FUN.
So after chatting with him, I am really keen on doing what I felt like I want to do. What I am hoping is, getting my PR and start working and studying part time. I also told my mum what’s my plan next year. She supports my decision and I am really happy. *jumps around* if you wondering what I wanna work? I wanna apply for cabin crew next year and study pilot course part time. This is what I want to do and I am going for it, no matter what it takes. OMG, nafen.. you sparkle me life. THANK you so much for taking me out and its great to talk to u and I love chatting with you. YOU’RE FUN!!~

Boring Sunday turns to excitment!~

2006-04-17T10:39:00.000+10:00

As I said my day wasn’t any much entertaining and basically boring. I was very wrong. My day wasn’t that bad as I expected. I did go out. As I complaining how boring yesterday is. How I want to crawl out from the apartment. The felling of boringness that makes me paranoid and restless. Lucky me, I went out to get myself a javechip VENTI frap from starbucks. Yum!! Javachip frap is called Rhumba frap originally. Before that, I actually wanted to get Max Brenner because I am craving for chocolate. But unfortunately Max Brenner in Melbourne Central is closed due to Easter Sunday and another one in QV is totally pack. Phew~ Then I went to Koko Black and its bloody close. That is why I had to go for Starbucks.

Later in the day, I went out dinner with my housemates and his friend in Stalactites Restaurant that are located just around the corner of Russel Street and Lonsdale Street. It’s pack with people man, FULL HOUSE. Nothing to worry, we waited for 10 minutes then finally got a table for 4 of us. We had their famous souvlaki. Its lettuce, tomato, garlic sauce, chicken and lamb (grilled) wrapped in pita bread. Yum! Yum! i didn’t manage to finished it because I am too full. Hehehe. After dinner, Eugene, Sue and I went to watch Ice Age 2. This is the movie you should what. It makes you laugh from the beginning till the end of the movie. You probably had seen a lot of credits given to this movie and it’s definitely and grade: A+ movie. I just love it and it didn’t disappoint me. At about 10.10, the movie ended. I went down to the arcade and play some games while Sue and Eugene headed back home. After the games, I went home and started study. And that end my day. Lolz, pretty much an excitement and geez I need to study for my exams. Hahaha. Finish for now, I need to start studying. Have to do as much study as I possibly could.

Pictures

2006-04-16T13:53:00.000+10:00

I had taken so many pictures and i didnt manage to put it up.
But i had decided i want to share this memories of mine with you guys.
There are a few nice pictures in there are nice. I love them.
Hope you do enjoy it as much as i do.
cheerz!~

Night Scene in Melbourne
Commonwealth Games
Queen Baton Relay Party
Kew Garden

James Blunt

2006-04-16T12:29:00.000+10:00

James Blunt, you guys must have heard about him. He is now #1 in United Kingdom (UK). His songs have touched many hearts in the world and I am his greatest fan. I would definitely recommend two of his songs that I LOVE the most that is:
1. Your beautiful
2. Goodbye my lover
After listening to their songs, I actually cried because it’s so TOUCHING!!!~~ and so sorrow and hollow.

"Goodbye My Lover"

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your hand.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

[x2]
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer and when i wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

[x2]
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bare my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

"You're Beautiful"

My life is brilliant.

My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

Yeah, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
Flying high, [ - video/radio edited version]
Fucking high, [ - CD version]
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.

My update on my boring life

2006-04-16T12:21:00.000+10:00

UPDATE on my blog. People, I am bored, lonely and depress here. Why?
There are a lot of reasons to that. Ha ha ha. We leave that alone first. Now I can declare I am a full time student and a part time working boy. Not really that happy working because too much pressure I am getting from University work and workplace. My 1st semester exams are going to commence in 2 weeks time. I am so hectic studying and unmotivated to study. What the hell? It’s very terrible when after you work u got all tired n lazy to study. I am afraid I won’t pass the exams. SOB SOB. This year my course wont spoon feed my like last year, that is why it’s a bit scary to think about it. Argg!!!!!! Hallelujah to me… hehehe. Talk about work, you can hear me complaining after I work. This happens to me back in Malaysia and not to mention, it happens to me here. When I get tense up to my climax that I felt very extremely pressured I felt I want to give up my job. I think it’s like a way to run or avoid all the hardship and overcome the barrier that gonna be set up for my future. My mother always say, “if you don’t suffer, you will never achieve in you life because you’ll never learn”. I do think that is really true. But its always harder to do then say, right? My mum is a tough woman. She is independent and much much cooler than me. I just wanna be like here but that is no way I can be like her. I felt like I am a real softy. It’s always hard to do anything without your parents around or supporting you. Some people may find me crazy or non sense but its true, I am so fragile that I can collapse anytime. Back to my work, my boss expects me to learn everything such as prepare sandwich, toast sandwich, clean dishes, clean all the machines and refilling the bottle in the refrigerator. It sounds easy right? Its NOT!! When you’re new in this café stuff, everything is not easy. Every one around you are doing stuff so fast, there are so quick you can’t even catch up. As I know myself I am too much a perfectionist, I want to have my standard or expectation up to their expectations. I don’t like people to look down on me and say I am slow or anything. Oh yeah, anything thing is, they keep on asking me to sweep and mop the floor. WTH!!~ I am new but I don’t deserve to do that stuff every time I work. Come on, be fair. Other staff also needs to sweep and mop. I had been mopping and sweeping the whole frigid place and my back hurts. UNFAIR!
Oh well, I think that’s all I want to bitch about. Bitching about things really makes you happier, I would say. Before that, I would like to thank Mr. Nafan for sharing my thoughts and letting me understand how things goes around. Well, I tried to find some 1 to talk to last night but can’t even find one because everyone is too busy. THANKS again Mr. Nafan.

My depression and thoughts

2006-04-01T03:58:00.000+11:00

April 1^st, sitting alone in my room wondering what the heck am I still awake in this hour of night? I had many thought going on in my mind after watching a movie that played on channel 10 called “How to loose a guy in 10 days”. It’s a 2-3 year old movie and matter of fact touch my heart and I did cried at the ending and somehow my hearts hurts. Its like I am feeling the pain from the both party. Talking about my love life, it ain’t great or make it simple its not progressing at all.

Talking about model, I am a model myself. I feel proud of it. A female photographer contacted me and asked me to model for her photograph shoots that is going to be up on her exhibition. To my extreme, I am to ask to be naked for the photo session. At first I was like OMFG!!~ and I told her I am not comfortable with everything off because my self conscious about my body at the peak. Then she asked me to sit at the sofa at the far left of her apartment while I am amazed by 2 male and 1 female model pose nude. After think hard and long, I dare myself and tried taking the pictures and it’s not that bad after all. The picture came out not that good as I expected coz I was really not comfortable but some of them she said it was good. She told me, it’s a great thing that photographs can make u fell attractive and sexy. Later on, we all went for tea and I headed back home. Anyway, it’s a good experience. There are a lot of things to be gain and I would definitely recommend you guys to watch more on America’s Next Top Model. You never know its really hard to get a picture perfect shot until u try it.

I had a friend called Teddy that visited me last night and we had dinner and chatted till 9.00 p.m. the conversation was absolutely interesting. We had this almost same kind of background and I felt the bond between him and me it better than my step brother. How cool is that? I have no idea myself. I had introduced him in playing guildwars so hopefully he likes it. To you guys who don’t know what guildwars is, it’s a mmorpg game – www.guildwars.com. During the conversation, he had enlighten me a lot and told me a few tips about relationship and finding for a part-time job. In fact I would take the opportunity to thank him here.

April fool!!~ Guys don’t be fool by your friends. I was just thinking so hard, that can a relationship actually last when you know him for 10 days? Or how do you know he is the right one for you? Or can you really fall in love with a person within 10 days? and if it’s a dream, I wish I would never wake up. Its just so amazing that the power of love is so powerful that can make you do stuff you doesn’t want to do or things you won’t do. It’s so strong that it can blind you. How I wish I am in love. You guys out there must be thinking I am desperate to fall in love? Yes it’s true, I am desperate but you can’t blame me because I haven’t had any relationship after the last one on 2003.

By the way, I send my regards to all my friends out there and gods bless me, hopefully someone call me for job interview. I am also bloody desperate for part-time job. Got to hit the sack, bye guys!!~

Getting to the limit

2006-03-26T03:47:00.000+11:00

People tends to do something wrong in the wrong day and the wrong time. it includes me. I admit I will not be perfect nor should I say every 1 is not perfect in this world unless you are a god. To the extend, sometimes people blame you for the mistakes you doesn’t intend to do it or maybe get frustrated on the unintended mistakes.

At about 9.45, Eugene and me were about ready to go yarra river to see the fishies for the last time. The 72 fishies that r floating in the yarra river is gonna be dismental by Monday and gone by Tuesday. Sad isn’t it. They were beautiful and stunning. By the time we got to yarra river, its about 10.00 p.m. and the ceremony started. We were so happily taking pictures and enjoying the exquisite view. In fact I was so in love with the whole crowd and the place because it’s just so lively and the environment is explosive. Times like this don’t come very often. Not long after, out came the fireworks that sparkled in the sky. It definitely captures the attention of all the spectators. Then the ceremony ended and we headed back home. On the way home, we took some pictures and the real situation begins at this very moment. As I was saying, we were on our way home, we decided to get maccas. So we went and get maccas. Then Eugene decided to go again to the 11p.m,ceremony and I was too tired I said I would go back home instead. So he headed off to the ceremony while to headed back home. The tired me, came home n LOCK the door and totally forgotten Eugene has no key. I eventually went to sleep after eating my six pieces of nuggets. I know its fattening. I slept till 1.45 n woke up wondering why Eugene is not back yet. I was so afraid he was kidnap or had any accident. So I wanted to go out from my room and call him but at the same time, I heard knocking on the door. i was like "eh, yay your back". After that, zoom... I recall that Eugene doesn’t have his keys with him. I quickly rush to the door and unlock the door. Poor him, he was sitting down in front of the door nearly asleep. He was furious. He told me he called his mobile quite a number of times and he used intercom to contact with me. Because I am in my room and it’s like sound proof when my door room is close tight. I can only hear the sound the come in from my window and sound from outside the living room if it’s very loud. All I wanted to say, it’s not my very intension to lock you up Eugene and my bad for doss off. What I can make it up to u. I will and sorry is the word I can say to you. I am really sorry and I meant it. I do know u feel shitty and furious but again I am so so sorry. As you know I live in the same apartment with u, I don’t intend to make u hate me or dislike me and hope u can forgive me n solve this misunderstanding. as you said "what is done is done" and i agree with u. but isn’t it tomorrow a brand new day? So I just hope u forgive me. I hope it does not gonna effect our friendship and housemates bond in the apartment.

Testing 1 2 3

2006-03-18T17:35:00.000+11:00

Testing 1 2 3

I would appologize for the fact that my blog is not fully design n done yet.
It will be done soon and at the meantime i will start blogging.